Podcast Transcript: Introduction - Be Discerning

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Transcribed using Otter.ai. Minor editing done by me. Grammar and perfect accuracy not guaranteed. Please get in touch if anything is unclear. The audio version of this episode was originally published 6 May 2021.

Hello, this is my first podcast.

This is balefire review. My name is Madison, let's get started.

Please bear with me. I'm not gonna get better one day, I'm just gonna get better every day. So hopefully things will improve. Hopefully this isn't that bad. So this is the introduction podcast for Balefire Review. This is, first of all, an introduction about me. So you can get to know me. But also, let me just tell you now what the forthcoming podcast will be about in case you're interested and don't actually care about getting to know me. So again, my name is Madison, I am a practicing death doula. I work with millennials, we talk about things around death. So that's the initial perspective of this podcast. Behind the Patreon wall, at some point, soon, I will put lots of recordings of people doing many sessions of services with me. If you become a patreon subscriber, then you will have an opportunity to do that with me for free. (**No on the Patreon, oh well) So stay tuned for all of that.

Otherwise, this public podcast will be basically me chattering on about research that I've done, my first year of research around this, that I want to share is going to be death rituals across time, space, and species. So if you're interested in that, and there are, there are other podcasts, recorded episodes published, for you to listen to of mine, then you can go on ahead straight to that. But for right now, the rest of the time, I'm going to introduce you to me. I think it is important to understand who the person is that's speaking in your ear.

When you have a relationship with a podcast, you also have a relationship with the person recording it. And so I want you to know what my perspective is, where I'm from, where I am, what I'm up to, how I deal with things, my potential biases, like all of us, so we can vibe and really be on the same page about stuff. So I made a list. I'm going to read from it. So some of it's going to really sound like I'm reading from it. Sorry. I'm trying to work on that. It's been a long time since speech and debate in high school.

First off, my name is Madison. Never Madi. That's for people who knew me when I was a kid. So sometimes Mads, Mad Dawg for being crazy. But generally Madison works just fine. I am currently based near Baton Rouge, Louisiana, which is an hour northwest of New Orleans and an hour east of Lafayette where I grew up. I am trained as a death doula, and I help people with multiple things around death. Mostly I help Millennials make sense of their lives after a significant death has occurred, transforming their grief and confusion into inspiration to live lives they love. I say all this because that is what I have done. And I like my life. Not everyone is meant to find meaning in grief. Not everyone needs to do that. But if that is something that you are interested in, that is what I am here to help you do in addition to other things, but that's my that's my bread and butter.

So I'm interested in so many things. I like historical reenactment, whole food eating, abstract expressionist art, music made with artistic intention, plants, gardening, want to grow my own food one day, right now I have a shit ton of basil because I need a shit ton of pesto. I'm addicted. I'm into crocheting, not eating pot embroidery. Now cross stitching. Okay, crocheting. That's what I do. I'm into DIY home crafting, ancient European folklore and spirituality, preserving nature, squish mallows, train travel. I've never been on a train. I'm interested in it. So if you have things to tell me about train travel, shoot me a little email. I'm interested. I enjoy cafes, ambient sound escapes, ambient-mixer.com is a gem. You are welcome.

I like candles. I like minimalism, and road trips. I'm into natural medicine, herbology, naturopathy, genealogy, open ancestry. So thinking of ancestry not just as our blood relatives, but as everyone and everything that has come before. I like elephants. I like tattoos, I have tattoos. I like the Great British Bake Off. That's one of my coping mechanisms. I like the Real Housewives I have seen every single episode of every franchise. It is my shame and my pride. I like cats, dogs and horses, no shade to the other, to the other pets. Those are just the ones that I have had. I like macrame. I like doing it? It's frustrating sometimes, but satisfying. I'm into skincare and SPF. I plan on living a very long time. Trying to take care of myself. I like cold vacations and playing in snow, all kinds of hydrotherapy. I think being basic can be fun. But I hate when something I'm doing that I think is unique, becomes the cool thing.

I am very into astrology. I will give you my personal planets and information at a later time. So my history of practice, I grew up Catholic in South Louisiana, which is very French influenced but also reverent of native and Creole practices. So it's all some of the ideals are all blended with the native peoples of the Gulf and the Caribbean and African traditions and French traditions. I had a typical American upbringing, which means that I had a single mom. We lived with my grandparents a lot of the time. So we went we were religious on the high holy days other than the time when I was at a Catholic school for elementary. I turned out all right. I enjoyed the community and tradition of Judaism in college, but I did not end up converting. And at that time, I also then started being interested in Eastern religions and philosophy but then got wrapped up in materialism and society's expectations. So I started working in public relations, marketing and advertising. Very bad decision for a mental health. I found meditation when trying to deal with anxiety. And like when I say found meditation, I mean, I found like a formal meditation group, it happened to be a Tibetan Buddhist practice group. And so now I practice that as my religion. I have a qualified teacher and have taken refuge vows. We are the Nyingma school and practice Mahayana and Vajrayana. So if you need if you want to know more about Buddhism, send me an email I'll send you the link to my group. So my Sangha, the kinds of things that we practice are The Heart Sutra, which is focused on wisdom and tonglen meditation which is focused on compassion. We try to practice bodhichitta we practice the 21 Taras and Guru Rinpoche practices. We do compassion in action and we also train in contemplative and shamatha meditation. Let's see, I also practice. I mean, I have a weird blend of world philosophy and religious practice, I think, which is actually pretty common among most people nowadays, but this is me trying to define it. So in particular, I'm interested in a lot of ancient European based paganism like Druidry and tree reverence and hedge riding, the cunning folk interested in understanding and respecting nature and time. I work a lot with the moon, to bring together the grounded Earth and airy astrology with the following practice of studying people and our nature plus the fire of inspiration creation, creativity, transformation and action. So, I blend all those things together. And that is what I ended up praying about. I am interested in learning more about Native American ideas of space and time, and working with and protecting nature and people more.

So what is the basis of a lot of my own personal philosophy? Well, that's a lot. First of all, my mother in her mid 20s, attended Erhard seminar training, known as EST. And when I was in my early 20s, I also went to the, to the same workshops, then known and has been known as Landmark Education, and now just known as Landmark. They have something called The Forum and the Advanced Course and then a Communications Curriculum. And the main things that I've taken away from that are lots of personal responsibility, which can get problematic around dealing with victims of any kind of abuse. So that's some sticky stuff right there that I have worked around. And unlearned, I guess, is the right way to say that. I also learned there, that when dealing with something difficult, there is a thing that happens. And then there's a story we make up about the thing that happens, our perspective about it, our feeling, or our thoughts about it. And none of those things are the thing that actually happened, right? So it's understanding that we have a choice in our own reaction to things, which again, is part of that personal responsibility stuff. I learned a lot about how important language is and the our use of words to create our reality, not just out loud of our mouth, but also the words we use in our head. And if you follow that, to the weird section of the library in your brain, you can get to The Secret and law of attraction, which there's no reason for this to be esoteric, it's just shifting your energy on something that is positive and what you want instead of focusing on the bad stuff. And another main thing that I learned from Landmark Education is going from, “do -> have -> be” to “be -> have -> do.” Basically, when we naturally think of stuff that we like when we think about our goals, we think that we have to do something in order to have a result and then be that kind of person who does the thing. But really what we can do is use language and our thoughts and emotions, to embody that and be that on our own. So that way, what we have to do like comes naturally, and then we can have the result that we want. So it was just a mindset shift. And I fully realized that a lot of the things that are taught in Landmark Education are tangled up weird ass versions of so many other philosophies, some legit, some very troublesome, some downright psychotic. And I've been trying to weed through that tangled mess in my brain and unlearn some things. So working on it, but that's where I'm coming from. My partner and I both pass as cis het women, but we are pansexual and love each other very much. We are also white. So we are working together through our racism and seeing color and the experiences of others more clearly. I'm have a history of feminist activism. I was a student mentor of an organization on my campus called Women Organizing Women. It was associated with NOW. And I've also done activism work around trans rights and LGBT community.

I worked with youth at the boarding school where I grew up. I have come out as pansexual as myself have a partner. And so we're both still working through gender identity and exploring our own sexual preferences, which all of that is just my business. That's my personal business. So that's that, but all that stuff is real for us and we're working every day to be better. In my early 20s, around the time of Landmark Education and things I was reading a lot of Deepak Chopra and The Secret and Eckhart Tolle and you know Like the Four Agreements and Oprah's Super Soul Sunday, so, did a lot of that and realized how opaque some of that stuff is. But then from that I've also been reading lately, more Brene Brown, Glennon Doyle. And really just a lot of like social commentary and my Tibetan religious texts, and commentaries. What else have I learned? I have a bachelor's degree in English and communications. And I'm one class away from having a double major. So technically, it's a minor in sociology, I chose not to go to grad school. I also really took to my ancient philosophy classes in college. So all that's about 10 years away, now. But here we are. Let's see some of my personal beliefs.

Thank you for bearing with me, I know that some of this feels weird, like I'm reading it. I'm, I'm not a fan of it. But uh, thank you for listening. If you're listening.

I have an ancestor altar, I do a lot of intention work, cleansing and protecting. In my physical space, and in my mental emotional space. I value friendship a lot. I have a very dedicated group of friends. Chosen family is very important to me. And it's very important to me that people be intellectually curious. Not just people who I surround myself with, but the world population in general, if you're not intellectually curious, I feel very sorry for you. So sorry, there's so much to know and explore.

Why do I want to do a podcast? That's a question I should answer. Right. Clearly, I have a lot to say. I mean, right now I'm just talking about myself, which everyone likes to do. Kind of right? I don't know. But I want to talk about things that are not necessarily perfectly in line with what I offer as a service as a death doula. I love researching and learning about the world. And I want to play show and tell and share my findings with other people. So that's what that's what this is, and I can do it. So I'm doing it. So if you're on this ride with me, thank you if you don't like it, but let's see if you're into these things. I'm just going to list them off. And you'll know what I'm talking about.

So personality tests. All right. Astrology. My sun is an Aries. My rising is in Gemini. My moon is in cancer. My Mercury is in Aries and my Venus is in Aries. And my Mars is in Gemini. My north node is in Pisces in the 10th house. Okay, so that's that. I'm an Enneagram seven. And I'm an INFJ. So Carl Jung can suck it. What else?

Oh, this is a fun one to talk about. What has the Coronavirus looked like for me? What does the pit of this pandemic look like for me? Well, it kind of started when I quit my corporate job. October 2019. Actually, I quit it in August or late July 2019. And I got a job at a resort, a seasonal job in the mountains in October 2019. Everything was awesome. I wintered in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. It was great. And then the pandemic happened and I was homeless because our housing was connected to our employment. So that was great. But I made some good friends and got rescued. Sheltered in Denver for a few months, then moved home to be with my people. I struggled a bunch. I homeschooled and walked the dogs and saved up on my own employment to get by through the year and then I started this business and in January As of 2021, I met the love of my life, my partner, I manifested her, and I manifested this whole life for myself that I'm currently creating. And it feels really good. Like I wished for all of these things. And I tell her every night, but she's just my dream come true. So take a minute. So right now, I am doing side things, working on making this balefire review into my full time commitment. My partner has two boys, which we have half the time, we are still merging lives, there are two cats, I'm trying to keep myself alive and all of us alive and happy and healthy. So things are just gonna happen when they happen. So let's see.

What else do I have here listed, where I stand on important issues. For me, recycling and environmental awareness is important. I think it's important for people to contribute to the community that they live in. Right? We are one in billions, but we can make a difference as an individual for the people around us. And also, the other side of that is we're just another person doesn't really care. So kind of do what you want, just leave things better than you found them. It's basically how I feel about living in the world right now. I think it's important to practice generosity, and gratitude and curiosity. It's important to approach life as a beginner to be kind to speak slower. Definitely working on that one. I think it's important to be more patient with ourselves and others. I think kids are adults for longer than they’re kids. And so we have to let them be kids and be themselves but still raise them knowing that you're helping people turn into adults. And yes, I totally got that from my partner because she's an amazing mom.

Three things I am not. I am not a Certified Legal Professional. I am not a certified medical professional. And I am not a therapist.

Okay. I am passionate. I am a beginner. I am a pansexual woman. I am curious. I am adventurous. And I encourage risk taking.

Let's see what have I studied formally. So like I said, I have an English degree, a minor in sociology. In college, I was actually trained, and did administer oral HIV tests and provide the results to people. So that was a very intense training and experience. I've done my Doula training with an elder and soon plan to pursue further apprenticeships and mentorships within this field.

Let's see what I'm actually doing right now. And like things that I'm actively researching beyond all those other things that I'm interested in and figuring out where I'm trying to create a pattern, a crochet pattern for a mourning cardigan, with proceeds to potentially serve as a scholarship for bipoc who want education and death work. I want to crochet something that I can sell, and also serve others with. We'll see how it goes. It's been swimming around in my brain for quite a while now. So hopefully I can get my shit together to do some pre orders in the fall.

So along with that, I'm also researching a lot of folklore, and history around fiber arts and knot magic, like fiber arts magic, knot magic, cunning folk, traditions and things like that.

And lastly, a thing that I find myself even telling some of my closest friends often is to check the receipts, check your sources, be more discerning about the people and ideas that you let into your life. There's something I told my parents forever because I was yelling at them for watching Fox News. I said Yeah, it's fun scenarios but also like, if you were watching CNN or MSNBC, I would be saying the same thing. Listening to people screaming at you and trying to tell you negative things. 24/7 is exhausting to your soul. So, be discerning about the things that you allow in your life. Be discerning about the things that you're looking at every day. Be discerning about the ideas you listen to, the books you read, the people that you surround yourself with, okay? Some people may have the best of intentions. But if it comes from a source that is nefarious, you know, then what good is that really serving you? It's just important, especially when thinking about energies and transference of energy between people and ideas that we are discerning before we invite that into our psyche. Right?

So full circle there. That is why I'm sharing all the stuff about me. So if there's something about me that doesn't vibe with you, and your own personal philosophy, then have a great life. No shade. We just we don't vibe. That's okay. Okay. You're not for me. I'm not for you. It's all good. So with that, I'm going to end this. This is long enough. I'm actually really tired of talking about myself, essentially, to myself right now. So thanks for listening. And hopefully, we'll chat soon. Reach out to me on social media, let me know that you listened. Or you can send me an email. Let me know if you have any ideas, preferences, questions, concerns. Callouts. lay it all out. Thanks, guys.

And I have been on a train. It was in Scotland for four hours. I loved it, but I want to do more of it. So yeah.